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Gossip is Poison

May 16, 2013

“Never make negative comments or spread rumors about anyone. It depreciates their reputation and yours.”   -Brian Koslow
     Did you know that gossip is the verbal manifestation of negativity in its most insidious form and can cause hurt feelings, broken relationships and emotional grief to those it affects?
Gossip can disguise itself in many ways and is just like putting lipstick on a pig, despite its outward appearance, it is still a pig nonetheless. Sometimes we can dress gossip up to seem like something else. Do any of the following statements ring true for you?

  • Gossip can look like concern when you are using gossip to pretend you know what’s best for someone else. This includes the conversation about someone who isn’t present because you’re worried about them or you believe you know what is best for them. If you’re concerned about someone why not talk to them directly? Wouldn’t you want the same courtesy?
  • Gossip can also be the conversation you’re having about someone not present “just to vent your feelings.” Open communication involves being accountable for your own feelings and expressing them in a mature and direct way. What if you went directly to the person and told them how you felt instead? This gives them the opportunity to own their part in the situation (or not) but at least you’re treating them with respect and giving them the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming the worst.
  • Gossip can be mean-spirited. Some people gossip because they don’t feel good about themselves and by gossiping about someone else, they temporarily get the satisfaction of feeling superior but the truth is, that is not what is happening on the inside. People that gossip about others have low-self worth and use gossip as a tool to build themselves up to feel better at the expense of other people.
  • Gossiping can make you feel temporarily closer to or bonded with others who gossip or can make you feel like you fit in but in the long run; it’s hurtful, unbecoming and self-deprecating. The question to ask yourself is, “Who do you want to fit it with?”

     Gossip includes any conversation in which you’re discussing someone who isn’t present. Do your best to not get involved with the negativity of gossip and don’t gossip yourself because it’ll only come back to harm you by making you feel bad about yourself. End conversations or change the subject when you find they are moving in that direction. The end result will be that you get to feel good about yourself, inside and out.

     One effective way I found to discontinue gossiping or listening to gossip when I find myself in situations where gossip is present is to simply say, “I feel like I’m gossiping and I don’t like it. Let’s move on.” This response has never failed me and no one to my knowledge has ever been offended by it when I said it. It is hard to argue with the truth and one fundamental truth that is obvious to most is that gossip is hurtful. Do your best to not be a part of it and remember……..Optimists Rock!

Copyright  2013  Robin O’Grady

Facebook: The Optimists Edge

www.optimistsedge.com

robinogrady@wavecable.com

 

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob Ingram permalink
    June 7, 2013 1:43 pm

    Robin, Reading Ask and Receive gave me goosebumps. You have so much to give to others. I have to catch up on the other articles you’ve written. Can you send these out when you write a new one so that I won’t miss any. I salute you for creating this valuable blog. Bob ingram

    • robinogrady permalink*
      June 7, 2013 8:51 pm

      Thanks so much Bob! If you click the Follow link on this blog page it will ask you for your email. My new articles will then go to your email each week.

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