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Self-care or Selfishness?

November 1, 2013

Do you have people in your life that cause you pain, low-self worth or discontent?  Usually when you participate in relationships with people who are mean, hurtful and self-serving it is because there is an underlying payoff for you, so what is it?  Maybe it keeps you in the role of a victim so you have something to complain about, or maybe you feel you deserve to be treated bad because of feelings of low-self worth.   If you are used to being in negative relationships, it may be all you know so you naturally gravitate toward people who don’t treat you well.

The big question is “How do you treat yourself?”   So many people have shared with me over the years that they would never let anyone treat them as bad as they have treated themselves.  When people see you disrespecting yourself by putting yourself down or practicing self-defeating behaviors, you give them cues about how you want to be treated.  You attract into your life every single relationship you are in, in direct relation to the way you treat yourself.  The first and most important step in creating your amazing life is to begin treating yourself with the love and respect that you deserve.    Self-care is much different from self-centeredness.  Self-care is about making sure that your emotional, spiritual, and physical needs are met and as a result, you are able to experience health, love and joy on a deeper level.  Putting your self-care first means your cup is full and you have so much more to give to others.

How do you treat others?  Do you expect them to always follow your lead while disregarding their feelings or do you put them down verbally?  I had a friend who made fun of her husband in front of other people.  He allowed this to continue and laughed about it when it happened but over time, it chipped away at their relationship and in the end, things didn’t work out.  Don’t we all need someone in our lives to support us, love us no matter what, and help build us up?  Three important questions to ask yourself before you open your mouth to give someone constructive criticism are;  “Is it loving, is it kind, is it necessary?”  If it’s not, then live and let live and remember…………Optimists Rock!

Copyright  2012        Robin B. O’Grady

Facebook: The Optimists Edge

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