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Happy Valentines Day

February 11, 2015

What is it about romantic love that makes it so spicy and delicious and in the same breath, so challenging and bittersweet?  One moment your thinking about the impossibility of anything feeling better than being held close in the arms of your beloved, and the next moment you’re plotting your escape.

Sometimes when a relationship has seasoned, it can feel like a combination of both fulfillment and ambivalence but why the conflicting feelings? The answer is because love really is ALL things!  Love in all of its forms ebbs and flows like a river, changing with each season.  The question then becomes; How can you appreciate and enjoy your romantic relationship regardless of the intermittent negativity, annoyance and complacency that can accompany long-term commitments?  Here are some helpful strategies;

  • Quit making your partner and/or your relationship wrong – When you stop making things wrong in your relationship, you are able to stand on equal footing.  There is nothing wrong with your partner and nothing wrong with you!  Everything does not have to be an issue.  Relationships don’t have to be “hard work” unless that’s what you want.  Let your partner be and focus on yourself!  Assume that you are both doing the best you can.
  • A wise woman told me once that if you can’t accept your partner the way they are, walk on!  You can’t change anyone but you and falling in love with someone’s “potential” is a set-up for disappointment and not fair to your partner.
  • Become the partner you want.  Do you want a partner who is loving, kind and affectionate?  Then be that person.  Pointing out what you partner is not isn’t fair.  Instead, lead by example.  Being the best partner you can be  also brings out the best in your partner.
  • Practice forgiveness.  No one is perfect and nobody likes to be judged especially when they make a mistake.  Most people are harder on themselves than anyone and being scolded by someone else just makes matters worse and puts distance you.
  • Treat your mate like you want to be treated.  Do you want to be nagged and controlled by someone?  Then don’t do it yourself.  Lift your partner up verbally every chance you get.  Point out their positive qualities and if your sharing with friends about your relationship acknowledge the good stuff instead of complaining about the bad.

Remember, what you focus on expands and gets bigger.  If you constantly point out the negative in a relationship and your partner, they will only be more glaring to you and cause long-term damage to the relationship but like wise, if you focus on the positive, they will expand and grow and support a happy, joyful,and fulfilling relationship and isn’t that really the goal  of being in a relationship in the first place?  Happy Valentine’s Day and I hope you do something special for your mate on this special day and if you don’t have a mate, do something special for you because you deserve it!

If you like this, check out my book; The Optimist’s Edge, Moving Beyond Negativity to Create Your Amazing Life.  It’s full of great ideas and strategies for personal development and is a roadmap for success!

Copyright 2015      Robin B. O’Grady

Facebook: The Optimists Edge

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 6, 2016 1:24 pm

    Great info. Lucky me I found your site by accident (stumbleupon).
    I’ve book marked it for later!

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